As any regular players of FIFA will know, Andy ‘The Feminist’ Gray rates Spurs as the Premier League’s ‘great underachievers’ and to a large extent, that bastion of modern, progressive broadcasting is right. Considering the not inconsiderable (if that makes sense) amount of money spent by Tottenham in the last 19 years, it would be fair for the White Hart Lane faithful to expect a better average league position than 9th.
But for every Aaron Lennon bought for £1million, Spurs seem to have procured a David Bentley for £15million and while Tottenham have provided the Premier League with some its brightest stars, Klinsmann, Campbell, Ginola, Bale and Modric for example, Spurs have also had more than their fair share of duff jokers who have dis-graced the hallowed turf of White Hart Lane.
So, now it’s time to have a look at some of the very worst players to have worn the lilywhite shirt in the Premier League era as the Transfer Tavern provides you with 6 of the Worst Spurs Premier League Players.
1. Helder Postiga
Poor. No matter how many times the Postman knocked, he very rarely came in to anything like a decent run of form. The Portuguese arrived at the Lane in 2003 for £8.36million having been touted as one of Europe’s best young strikers after an excellent two years for Porto.
Sadly for Spurs, he was a massive flop and scored only two goals for the club, before rubbing salt into the wounds by scoring for Portugal against England in Euro 2004 – he couldn’t even get that right, his ‘header’ going in off his shoulder/neck. He was promptly returned to Porto and has never been heard of again.
2. Michael Brown
A disgrace. Brown was not fit to wear Tottenham’s shirt, his aggressive, dirty, limited style of football was completely at odds with Spurs tradition of flowing attractive football. Known for dangerous tackles that verge on assault, Brown was never liked by the Spurs faithful.
The current Portsmouth player tried to make up for his lack of talent by diverting attention away from actually playing the game, with his fouling, whining, winding up of players and officials and generally being an all-round arse. Thankfully, Brown moved on after just 2 years and took his agricultural brand of football with him.
3. Gilberto
Rubbish. Having arrived at White Hart Lane following a 4 year stint with Hertha Berlin, where he had, staggeringly, been named the Bundesliga’s best left-back in 2004/5, Gilberto had a bad start to his short Tottenham career. The Brazilian started against PSV in the UEFA Cup, only to make a gaping error that led directly to a goal and consequently to him being substituted at half-time.
Indeed, Gilberto became accustomed to making way at the interval as it seemed to be a habit he found hard to avoid. Gilberto was so rubbish, his contract was terminated after just one and a half seasons.
4. Andy Booth
Oh dear. How desperate Spurs must have been in 2001 when the Yorkshire striker with the, ahem, modest scoring record (28 goals in 133 league appearances for Sheffield Wednesday) pitched up on loan. It appeared to be a match made in hell… and it was.
Signing a player from the second flight to help out when you need goals is not a satisfying option and Booth’s record of zero goals in 4 appearances for Tottenham represents well what he offered the team. As he might put it… ‘Nowt’
5. Paolo Tramezzani
Who? I bet a lot of you had forgotten about good old Paolo, younger readers may not even have heard of him – don’t worry, there’s not much to know. The Italian was awful, completely out of place in the Premiership and, to make matters worse, he had a ridiculous blond side-parting.
Signed by Tottenham’s greatest ever manager (from Switzerland), Christian Gross, the former Inter Milan(!) defender played only 6 league games for Spurs before George Graham shipped him out to Pistoiese. He’s now to be found selling dodgy hair dye from the back of a Ford Cortina every week in a Milan market (allegedly). Ciao Paolo, you joker.
6. Grzegorz Rasiak
Puzzling. Having scored at a reasonable rate for Championship outfit Derby County the previous season, the 6’3″ (Bean-)Pole came to the Lane in 2005, signed by fan favourite Martin Jol.
Unfortunately the step-up to the Premier League proved too big for the likeable Pole, who managed to score, er, no goals at all for the club and he swiftly departed for the sunnier climes of… Southampton. It’s a shame really, but the former Polish international , who is still playing, in Cyprus of all places, was never cut out for the top flight.
There we have it ladies and gentleman, 6 of Tottenham’s worst Premier League players – all duffers I’m sure you’ll agree. But who’s missing from the list? Let me know below and for more Spurs stories, rumours, thoughts and theories, follow me on Twitter: @StuartCFootball